Resilience…..what do you do when things get tough???

I can get through this....I know I can.

I can get through this....I know I can.

We are told that we should let our children play in the dirt, let them get muddy as it helps them to build up a healthy resistance to bugs……if we wrap
them up in cotton wool their immune systems don’t get a chance to strengthen. What do we call this???? Resilience…….If you have kinder or primary aged children you have probably heard the word “resilience” mentioned lately.
They are now teaching children to learn to cope with setbacks or
challenges and ways to learn and move on from trying times.  We would all love to teach our children that the world is perfect, that all people are lovely, that they shall never have to deal with upsets, that we are all equal; that there is no competition in life…….but that is not real life, is it?  We all have set backs, challenges and sorrows and we all need to have skills to give us
resilience to get back up and dust ourselves off. We need to learn that when we get knocked down to get back up, that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, that failures teach us new ways of looking at things,and one of my all time favourites: that when one door closes another opens.  What are some ways we can be resilient, what do we do to make ourselves cope when times are tough?  What are some coping tools that we can use? We can think back to a time where we have made it through a similar situation for example….if we start a new job and feel inadequate or feel like we are not ever going to get it….Think back to another time where you have successfully learnt a new task and know within yourself that you will settle in and that change takes time. We can reward ourselves when we make it through a challenge, how many of us have promised an unwilling child a lollipop after a doctors or dentist visit? I have.  We can seek help and advice from those we trust. We can use self talk to tell ourselves that we can get through anything……talk to yourself like a comforting friend would. Believing that “when one door closes another opens” can help.  Visualise the situation being resolved or forgiven. Having some type of faith, that we are all here for a reason, to learn and to love helps.  Using the Catastrophe scale, (see my post titled Catastrophe scale under the Stress Heading), puts things into perspective and is very helpful. If you are a parent think of your child coming to you with your challenge…what would you say to them and what advice would you give them to help them cope? Give yourself this same advice.  What tools do you use to help you manage? Please share as the more tips we get the more resilient we can be……….

3 responses to “Resilience…..what do you do when things get tough???

  1. Resilience – another really important topic! Well done Michelle on a great blog that brings up some really important and valuable information…..I agree that there is one thing we can be sure of in life..that there will be times when the going will get tough…life isnt fair and pain is inevitable. Thinking back to one of the most stressful, difficult and painful times in my life (when my son was critically ill in hospital) I can see clearly now that what made the difference was friends, family and the support of a professional counsellor. My own experiences have taught me over time that it is okay to ask for a helping hand when I need one and I learned from asking for help that people actually like to help. I believe Resilience is something which develops over time and with experience and a great way to help it along is to love and support one another. I have also found that by reading about/listening to other peoples trials I can hear about problems greater than my own and find out how they cope. Its great to hear that this is a topic taught in schools as Resilience has been proven to be a very important factor in maintaining good mental health and if resilience is taught by families, schools, and communities then we will all experience the benefits……..”Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the top of a mountain, so are many things learned in adversity which the prosperous man [sic] dreams not of…Charles Spurgeon and “Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them” H Jackson Brown

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this with us… is so important for us to know that we all have hardships and really tough times but with love and help we can get through. I love the quotes you chose, they really teach us to be resilient and to keep strong. I am sure that your words will help anyone who comes across them. Thanks again.

  3. Pingback: Stress less…..enjoy more! | happyasapiginmud

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