“No” is not a dirty word

I just can't balance everything...I need time to myself.....

I just can't balance everything...I need time to myself.....

No is not a dirty word

Do you run out of hours in a day/week because you say Yes to
everything?  Do you have the disease to please? Does your name come up when anybody needs something or someone to help? Do you have too much on? Are you getting enough time for yourself?  Mostly importantly are you saying Yes but
thinking NO? 

I remember years ago seeing an Oprah show where she was talking about her “disease to please”.  She felt that she would let everyone down if she said no, she spent many hours doing things that she would rather not do because she could not say NO.  Now, let’s be honest here…. we have all said Yes and thought No…..I also remember Oprah saying that she made a conscious effort to start saying No and was in a panic as to what people would say or think of her when she said No, would she lose friends, upset family, disappoint colleagues?  She started to
say No and realised, as soon as she said it the person asking her for the
favour immediately went onto thinking of who was next on their list of people to
ask.  Think of yourself…..if you ask a friend if they can do something for you and they say No…..you don’t think…that is it they are not my friend….you will think of plan B and the next option you have.  When I heard this,
I decided to do the same….I was guilty of having the disease to please, the
need for EVERYONE to like me, on committees I had no time for and doing things that I did not want to.  This was years ago…..I still falter sometimes, but mostly I am happy to say a simple: Sorry, I can’t; No, I am busy, NO thanks….it really is quite liberating. You don’t need long drawn out excuses and it frees you up to do the things you actually want to do, to be as happy as a pig in mud.  When I feel really put on the spot or unsure or it involves my family, my stock standard reply is….I will have to check and get back to you…this buys me time to really think about what I want to do or to check in with my family to see if it suits. In my disease to please times I have not only put myself up for things I don’t want to do but I have also put my hubby and kids up for things they don’t want to do……Not anymore!  Have you ever had the disease to please?????????

Advertisements

We'd love to hear from you...Please leave a comment..

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s