Stress….are you sometimes the cause??????

What are you looking at...are you having a go at you want a fight????

What are you looking at...are you having a go at you want a fight????

Do you create some of your own stress????? Do you think that all of your problems are caused by outside factors: my parents; spouse; kids; friends; colleagues; money: work etc?  Guess what most often they are caused/created by ourselves? Why does one event send you into stress out melt down and not even bother someone else? Is our personality a factor? Can we all be guilty at times of creating our own stress??? Now is the time to be honest with ourselves……. Time for some soul searching questions…….

Let’s look at our life in 3 areas and see how we stack up:

Health: Do you look after your health or do you eat on the run, eat the wrong foods , rely on addictions to get you through e.g. alcohol, nicotine, drugs, food, shopping? Do you make time for some sort of exercise in your life?

Life in General: do you: take too much on; create or get in the middle of dramas; say yes to favours/functions when you really do not have time to fit them in; do you run late for everything; do you try to fit too many activities into an already hectic schedule?   Do you have clutter in your life? Do you take on others worries? Are you running around trying to put out little fires everywhere but achieving nothing?

Work: At work are you a worrier, are you unorganized and carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Do you procrastinate and then complain about your workload? Are you involved in workplace politics? Are you being productive?

Take a step back and try looking at your life from the outside……..can you see that some of your stresses are created by you????So what can we do to reduce stress and lighten that heavy load that we seem to put on our own shoulders? Okay, so now that we know that we can cause some of our own stress or make our small worries turn into a bigger stress, how can we change?

Health….believe it or not looking after yourself can massively reduce stress. Getting enough sleep, eating healthily, getting some form of exercise are great ways to build up your immune system and your coping system. Have a look at your health…can this area of your life be improved?

Life in General…..the three R’s might help:

Reality: get real about your stress. Is it even your issue that you are stressing about? Is it really worth affecting your health over? Are you blowing things out of proportion? If you had to rate it on a catastrophe scale 1. Being something small and 10. Being something tragic…….where does your problem lay….is it really worth affecting your health over. Either do something about the cause or let it go….Confront it/take steps to resolve it or forgive/let go and move on from it. Keep things in perspective. When you stress your body can not differentiate between a really dangerous threat and you going berserk because your dog ate your favourite shoes. Too much stress affects our health. Get real about the issue.

Resilience: We all have ways to manage and cope with our stress. See my post titled “Coping Skills” under the stress heading for some tips.

Right now: live in the right now….don’t stew over the past and don’t fret about the future.

Work……all of our jobs are different so it is hard to give suggestions for this but some general tips may help……Have a positive attitude to your job…..remember it pays your bills, make a list of things about your job that you are grateful for, address any problems that can be fixed, get organized, make lists, prioritize your tasks, set goals and tick them off, tidy up..Are you surrounded by clutter, and if you have too much on your plate delegate.  Stay away from workplace politics and gossip and lastly use your work time effectively so that when you go home you can shut off from work.

My question to you today is….Have you been able to identify some areas in your life where you can reduce your stress levels?????  I would love to hear from you?????




9 responses to “Stress….are you sometimes the cause??????

  1. I loved reading this one Michelle. I am definately a self confessed cause of much of my own stress. One thing that “does my head in” is that I know I take on too much, and yes I am that person who takes on yet another thing when I clearly don’t have the time, but I find it very difficult to say no. It is like I have this “need” to say yes. I sit here and say – “I am not taking on anything else” until something comes up and I find myself saying “Yes ok!” Is it that I don’t want to miss out on being part of it or something??? Sometimes I just wish I didn’t know anything about it and then I can’t say yes or it is too late to say yes and someone else is doing it….
    I also take on things to help others out… to find they clear it off their schedule and I have it lingering on mine! (not that I don’t like helping people, but you know what I mean) Why is it that I find time to take on all these things, but no time to “take on” exercise or down time for me?
    I also have way to much clutter in my life. Cause or effect? I don’t know. Do I have clutter because I am too busy with things to clear away my mess, or is it that if I had the time to clear my clutter there wouldn’t be any because it is only created from all the things I am involved in? Interesting hey?
    Thanks again, loved the read….

  2. “It is like I have this “need” to say yes.” Jules they call this the “disease to please”….and don’t panic I think it is an extremley popular disease. I know that I have definitely had it until fairly recently. You don’t want to let people down, your feel accepted when asked, and I think we…as females…are pretty much taught that it is rude to say no. Well I have a general rule of thumb now….I only say yes if it suits and it is something that I really want to do….If I feel put on the spot, I say I will have to get back to you,( and then think if i really want to or not and answer accordingly), and I do not put my family members up for anything withour asking. I once heard Oprah say she had this disease and knew that she had to change….what helped her to change was realising that if someone asks you for a favour and they are your true friend 1. they will accept no if you are busy 2. think of yourself when you ask a favour..if they say are not gutted, offended and hateful…no you simply move onto plan B. So if you say a kind “no, sorry I am busy”…you will not be shunned or outed they will simply move onto plan B.
    As you get more time to yourself you can declutter….and destress.
    Jules you are a lovely person and very worthy of taking time out for you!
    Look after yourself XX

  3. Yes I too suffer from “disease to please”, it’s the reason i don’t go to any school meetings (or meetings of any kind come to think of it!) anymore – after years on committees and councils I just couldn’t do it anymore so now I just avoid.
    I definately agree with the rating system for catastrophes I use this when I am suffering anxiety and it really helps. Often we blow things up out of proportion and we really need to take a breath and think about things in a more rational light – like “whats the worst thing that could happen, ok, not that bad is it?” This doesn’t always work but it’s worth a try.
    I am the world’s worst at procrastination especially when it comes to exercise so now I don’t plan it, that way I can’t put it off, instead I do spur of the moment – it has been working for the last month or so!
    Thanks Michelle for the great read!

  4. I must say, your “Stress” post was a wonderful read. If I had to suggest one thing to reduce stress, I would say – either at the beginning or the end of each day, make the time to go for a walk. You may have to set the alarm a half hour earlier, or have tea a half hour later, but what a wonderful way to clear your head. Within the first 10 minutes nothing is as bad as it seems, and generally by the end of the walk you have come up with ways to sort out any stresses you may have. At the very least, you got out of your envioronment for a while – and who knows – keep it up and you may even start seeing a new body transform before your eyes! Win Win.

  5. Oh, also – not actually related to the topic, but what a wonderful picture to accompany the Stress post. Your best picture yet!

  6. Bright Jill….as we learn we do….great lesson about the school meetings..if you know that you do not have time to commit and know that in “a disease to please moment” that you will put your hand up…don’t go. Problem solved! Great tip.
    Great news about your exercise “spare of the moment” plan. No point making plans for anything in life that just don’t suit you….as I age I learn that you have to do what works for you! The closer that we can live our lives true
    to ourselves the better. Keep it up.

  7. Kerrie, I have to admit that in the past that I have been an internal stresser…I allowed myself to stew on things, thought too much into stuff; took on others worries…but now I do what I can to stop this…..and my secret weapon for my sanity is WALKING! I agree with you….for me…a walk can really nearly solve most things. I love it and it clears my head. Your right win win….
    P.S Glad you like the freaky little photo…I thought it fitted perfectly!

  8. I am completely the cause of my own stress. I can stress out about possible events far off into the future, not a healthy habit I know! I’m working on this. Thanks for your tips!

  9. I know what that is like, I used to replace one stress with another…sometimes I even managed to juggle 10 stresses at once. Now, I still stress but always make a huge effort to put things into perpesctive and be real about life. I try my hardest….not to live in the future or the past but it is a daily challenge for me. I think of it as a “stress diet”….when I slip, I dust myself off and get back up again. P.S lovely to hear from you…..and I really enjoy your blog!

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