Do you find forgiving others a real struggle?? Is resentment affecting you or holding you back? Is there any bitterness or anger from past issues that could be affecting your health or happiness? Do you think that forgiving others is a sign of weakness, backing down, letting others win, giving others power or accepting what they have done as okay? If we think in these ways then forgiveness can be near on impossible. So what can we do to help??
We must adjust our thinking and my favourite forgiveness saying is a great place to start…. “Forgiveness is not something that you do for others but something that you do for yourself to be well and to move on”. When we can comprehend this saying, then we can shift our thoughts and beliefs in relation to forgiveness. We can realise that forgiveness is about us personally, and that understanding this gives us the capacity to move on. When we are able to comprehend this, we enable ourselves to move on from the past and give ourselves permission to start to flourish in the present. It is all about us, our health and our happiness. We give ourselves permission to be free from those past issues and to stop dragging them around like heavy sacks of rocks. It really has very little to do with the other party, it is all about you.
When we forgive we are not condoning the other person’s behaviour, we are not saying that they are right and we definitely do not have to see them every day or be best buddies. When we forgive we are saying that we do not want to continue to carry this anger, we do not want to burden ourselves with pain and we do not want to let resentment fester. We are saying that we acknowledge what happened, we forgive our role in it and we forgive the other’s part and that it is time to let it go. Release the pain/anger/hurt and move on.
Once this forgiveness has taken place it is up to you where you go from there. You may choose to forgive and make contact or forgive and have no contact…that is your choice but always remind yourself that forgiveness gives you power, improves your health and happiness and allows you to move on. Forgiveness is healthy. It is all about you…….