Do you ask for what you want? When I talk about this I am being 100% literal.
You have no doubt heard of the law of attraction…where you ask the universe for something, you feel it, you believe it and if you really, truly want it, it will happen. Well this post is not about that. This post is about literally asking for what you want. Sometimes this is easy….go to a shop ask for a product, the shopkeeper gets it for you and you buy it. You go home as happy as a pig in mud, it is that easy. But sadly, sometimes asking for what we want seems like the most difficult thing we can do. How are you at asking for what you want?
I am hopeless. I have had bad haircuts, yucky food at restaurants, been pushed in front of in, in queues, done favours for people I have not wanted to and countless other annoying things. When it comes to confrontation, whether it be tiny or mammoth I find it really challenges me. Over the years my ability to say No has blossomed and I can now easily say NO, but when it comes to confronting anything I am still very much a work in progress……actually to be honest…..not much progress is going on in that front at all.
The other night I had a little revelation….sometimes asking for what you want can be easy, uncomplicated and the best thing for all concerned. I went out for dinner with some girlfriends…lovely company, scrumptious food, groovy ambience and unfortunately at 8pm really LOUD, aggravating music. Now when I heard that this was the restaurant that had been booked, I was not impressed because the last 2 times I went the same thing happened. Come 8pm for some unknown reason, the owner decides he wants his restaurant to turn into some funky, loud nightclub. Previously, even though we have wanted to stay for desert we have left early because we could not hear each other talk, even with raised voices. Well luckily this time one of the ladies I was with, called the waitress over and asked her very politely if the music could be turned down….and guess what? They turned it down. We got to eat a delicious desert and we all left happy. My friend did not bat an eyelid…..she did not think that she was causing a fuss, she did not feel bad and unlike me she had no problem doing this at all. Later that night, when I was at home I thought to myself……..why have I never even thought to ask for the music to be turned down? (in more ways than one!)
Now I know how long it took me to be able to say No without feeling guilty, so I don’t think I will suddenly become the Queen of Confrontation, and you know what, I don’t want to. But I am going to make an effort to realize that sometimes asking for what you want is absolutely okay. After all how do others know what you want unless you voice it?
Do you have any traits that are driven by some sort of fear that you really need to shed? When you look at these traits realistically are they doing you any favours and why do you hold onto them?
On the flipside are there any negative traits from your past that you have managed to work through and overcome? Don’t be shy I would love to hear from you.