Feel the fear and do it anyway…push through the fear OR never choose in fear….Fear begets fear??? To fear or not to fear that is the question? Do we feel fear and still do something or do we steer clear of fear altogether? Why are some lessons so confusing?
Well the way I see it the two types of fear are very different.
There is wishing to do something, believing that it is right for you, knowing that it will be a challenge but something you desire and knowing in your heart that it will be a little scary but worth it. These things could be : speaking up for yourself; going for that job that you have always wanted; joining that gym; trying out that Thai cooking class; writing a blog or asking that special person out for lunch. These are the times whereby you will kick yourself down the track for not having a go. They are choices that, even though they make you feel a little nervous, will be beneficial to you and your wellbeing. SO in these cases ….yes feels the fear and do it anyway! Essentially these choices are choices made with a love of yourself and others and made from a honest place.
Then there is the other fear. The fear that is not born out of love, in fact it is the opposite of love. The fear that others may judge you, or the fear that you will be left out, the fear that you have to compete , a jealous fear and a fear that you may lose someone. Whenever we choose out of this fear the chances are that things will not go so well. Whenever I see a business fail and speak to the owner it becomes apparent that the business was not a true passion but a fear of the need to make money. Whenever I hear of relationships breaking down fear is usually a big part….the fear of losing them turns into jealousy or the fear of being wrong turns into arguments and so on. I see many parents struggle, especially with teens, and I would have to say that 9 times out of 10 the biggest issues are born out of the parents fear. It is so hard when you love someone so deeply not to let the fear creep in. But by making a huge effort to really try to choose in love and not fear can see many battle lines being averted.
Sometimes understanding the difference between fear and love is not black and white…particularly in relationships and a great example for that is parenting. Sometimes the lines between fear and love appear to be extremely blurred. I know on many occasions, especially when things don’t seem to be going right, that I have had to really think about where my choices are coming from………..from fear or love.
Can you think of choices that you have made out of fear? Can you see how choosing out of love may have had different consequences?
How do you tell the difference between love and fear?