Self-Awareness – how do you rate? (No really – how do you rate?)

I know exactly how people see me…..they see me as a fearless lion.  They know I’m a strong leader and not some silly pussy cat.

Now of course we all think that we have great self awareness and we all think that we have a good read on how others perceive us. The reality is that many of us actually don’t. We find ourselves repeating negative behaviours, getting into dramas, having communication issues and wondering why.

Self awareness is an understanding of who you are and knowing your strengths and weaknesses. It is understanding why you got to be this way, and truly knowing how you relate to the those around you.

No one is perfect and we can all improve our happiness and relationships by taking a good look at ourselves. Many of us see ourselves quite differently to how others see us. Now is the time to take a good look from the outside, take a sneak peak how how others see us and try to work on improving ourselves.

Signs of a lack of self awareness	Behaviours	Ways to improve
Controlling	Cant delegate; micromanager; getting involved in other peoples business; manipulating and don’t give others a chance	Learn to delegate, trust others, other people have ideas that are worthy
Avoiding responsibility	Blame others; its not my fault and deflects issues	Its OK to make a mistake and own it others will respect you more. No one is perfect, we are all learning
Defensive	Cant take feedback; don’t listen; come out fighting; have to be right; passive aggressive and judgmental	Feedback is part of life, don’t take it personally, don’t assume, not everything is about you and you don’t know everything. Stop avoiding situations, others cant read your mind or sarcasm. Politely say what you think/feel and be virtuous with your words.
Communication issues	Don’t like conflict;your message often gets misinterpreted; others don’t listen to you; you often have disagreements; you cant get your message across; people don’t take you seriously	Think about what you want to say, take time to get calm; make your message clear and concise, don’t over communicate, watch for body language of others, are they zoning out or uncomfortable; do you need to say what you are saying; are you a drama queen; are people over your negativity;do you come across as a know it all who doesn’t listen? Be impeccable with your words. Do your words an actions match?
Low self esteem	Shy; lacking confidence; compares to others;assumes what other think and putting others down to feel stronger.	Be brave; be curious about others; you are enough; you have things to offer; don’t make assumptions about what others think about you and putting others down does not make you a better person.
Emotional	Angry;raw emotions;overly critical and overly emotional	Feel your emotion; why are you feeling this way; are you embarrassed; ashamed or feeling less than others. Be compassionate to others and yourself. Don’t take things so personally.
Listen	Not listening; are you waiting for them to finish to add your bit in; you believe that your way is the right way; do you pay attention; are you interested in others or just yourself? Are you self righteous?	Listening is key when communicating. Really listen to others; be curious about them; other people have really important stories and lessons that we can learn form.

Improving your self awareness requires attention and introspection. Listening, accepting feedback, honing your communication skills, and being truly honest with yourself. So if you want to be more authentic, live a calmer life, have better relationships and be the best version of yourself, why not start looking at who you really are and how you can be more positive and grow to be the best person you can be?